It was a beautiful Spring day so Sheila decided to go to Taylor’s Lane, a fantastic stretch of coastline in Little Compton, Rhode Island. She enjoyed the tranquil sound of the waves gently caressing the beach or rolling in with a thunderous show of might where they captured tiny stones and shells before dragging them with a somewhat musical clickety, clacking protest back into the sea. She also loved the smell of salt air because of the soothing, relaxing way it made her feel.
Once relaxed, it was customary for her to ponder different things about her life and in her life that made up her personality or character. She did this for no other reason but to examine herself in order to improve her relationships because she believed that family and friends were to be treasured. She also reasoned that in order to increase the number of friends she already had, she had to be attractive. Not attractive in the physical sense but in the heart; the spirit; and the way she treated others.
It wasn’t always easy to do as she sometimes would toss something back and forth in her mind, especially when she had to admit she had some faults and wasn’t the picture perfect person she hoped she could be. But Sheila also knew that it would be impossible to be perfect and, at times, actually found solace and excitement in knowing she wasn’t perfect because it made her completely equal to everyone else. Being equal was comforting as she neither wanted to feel superior or inferior to anyone else. Yet, even knowing she could not and would not be perfect, she disliked the fact that she had flaws.
As the seagulls would cry out their protests or excitement about what was taking place in their world, Sheila would think about ways to strengthen her character so she could be the kind of person others would respect and look up to.
One subject in particular that she often wrestled with was her penchant for shopping and the way she looked. It was as though she was treading on hallowed grounds because inasmuch as she loved to shop and prided herself in the way she looked, she was acutely cognizant of how those feelings bordered on being vain, which went against everything she had been taught growing up. Each time she battled with this matter, she found ways to justify her actions based upon the compliments she received from her peers. She rationalized that, as a woman, there was nothing wrong with enjoying a compliment and feeling good about oneself as long as it didn’t cross the line. If push came to shove, Sheila took consolation in knowing that deep within her soul, she would not enter the “dark” side.
Usually, by the end of her time of discernment, Sheila always counted the number of friends she had and relished in her heart that she was on the right road. It was a road that her mother started her on as a child and was reinforced by her Catholic upbringing and education. She had a good foundation to reflect upon and she always had the memory of her Mom to help her see the kind of lady she wanted to be and was becoming.
November 20, 2013