In an unprecedented move, Republicans have filed for an emergency injunction against the Democrats with the U.S. Supreme Court. The move came when the Democratic Party announced it has retained Curt Mullinsky, the man who has been labeled the “Donkey Man” because his head and legs are shaped and hairy like those of a donkey.
Democratic leaders announced that Curt is a willing and competent adult who has agreed to become the national symbol of the Democratic Party and will be scheduled to appear at various Democratic functions throughout the country during the upcoming election year.
Republican Party chairman, Sumole Trunk, told reporters that the Democratic move was in retaliation to the appointment of Ella Phant as the House Speaker. Trunk went on to claim that the Democrats are in direct violation of ethical and humane rights of an individual by exploiting his deformity.
Democratic Senate Majority Leader, Harry Mule, called the charges groundless and a smear tactic to thwart the Democratic chances of winning the presidency. Mule added that Democrats refuse to wallow in the mud-slinging tactics the Republicans are so eager to do and will avoid any pig-headed confrontations with members of the opposite party.
In his first interview, when asked how he felt about being embroiled in a mammoth bitter battle between the two parties, Mullinsky stated that he doesn’t understand what the big deal is because he’s willing to do it. He went on to say that just because he’s called the “Donkey Man” doesn’t mean he’s a jack-ass. He knows what he’s doing and looks forward to being the so-called “Poster-Boy” for the Democrats.
Mullinsky is still considered to be a scientific mystery having been born with the head and legs of a donkey. Researchers have found no evidence of anyone ever having been born half human and half donkey and cannot explain how or why it has happened now.
Mila Mullinsky, Curt’s mother, was a simple farm girl. During the two years after Curt’s birth, and before she died, Mila never spoke to reporters or anyone about how she could have given birth to a half-donkey and half human baby. Needless to say, rumors spread quickly about the farm being a haven for bestiality. Banal Mullinsky, Curt’s father refused to talk about it except to say he didn’t understand it but Curt was his child and he would love him no matter what.
House Speaker Ella Phant stated she has a good memory and doesn’t forget so when the Democrats obstinacy one day comes back to kick them, she will remind them of their folly and will lead the Republicans to victory.
Rumors are also being circulated that some Republicans are now combing the records for people who could be living with a mutated form of Elephantiasis, a debilitating disease that strikes a number of people each year. Their hope is that somehow through mutation, they will find a person with elephant features who will then represent the Republican Party.
Chelle Munroe ©
February 10, 2014